Slightly Mad
by Hpfan4life1313
Summary: Sirius, James and Peter are starting to worry about their fellow marauder Remus. He hasn't been acting himself lately...saying and doing odd things. The only logical explination is that he's going slightly mad. crappy summary. Slash RLSB


**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing…unfortunately.

**A/N: **Yeah yeah I know, I should be working on my other two chapter fics but goodness I just couldn't resist another one shot! This one sort of just popped into my head. See I have this tendency to do…well what Remus does in this fic. –sheepish grin- And it drives my friends up the wall.

**Dedicated: **To all my friends…sorry I drive you Slightly Mad at times. :

* * *

At first it started out subtly, little whispers here and there between his sentences, but then…it went horribly wrong. He never spoke unless spoken to first and if it wasn't a yes or no answer, in which he'd only shake or nod his head, then he'd either shrug…or speak. Yeah, he'd talk…but it wasn't Remus talking. –Sigh- here let me show you what I mean.

* * *

I walked up to Remus who was writing furiously on a piece of parchment in the common room. "Hey Moony." Remus neither looked up nor did he make any indication that he heard me. "James and I were wondering if you wanted to join us, we were going to go out and fly a bit before it gets too dark." I tried again, even holding out my broomstick. This time Remus shook his head but didn't lift his head or stop writing. "Ok, umm…where will you be? 'Cause I need some help with my history of magic essay." I attempted one last time at a conversation.

"This is where I'll be," Remus, again did not look up from his writing but I still smiled at the response I had extracted from the boy. I was about to comment on something else in hopes of getting more out of him when, surprisingly, Remus continued to speak. "So heavenly, so come and dance with me Michael." _Michael…who the hell is Michael? _I thought angrily, almost with bitter jealousy. But I froze when Remus ceased to write and looked up at me with huge eyes. "So sexy, you're sexy," At this Remus licked his lips. I could hardly believe my ears. "So come and dance with me Michael."

I was on the verge of screaming _'Who the hell is Michael!'_ when a very excited James came from behind me and patted my shoulder. "Hello, Sirius." James then turned to Remus and smiled also greeting him. "So Moony, do you know where Peter is?"

"Making love in Mama's room." He declared with a smirk, before returning to his work leaving us in shock. But at that moment the boy in question walked into the common room with a pastry in one hand and a broom in the other.

"Sorry, I'm late you guys. Went on a kitchen raid and lost track of time." Peter said, looking at us apologetically.

Snapping out of his shock induced trance James spoke. "Yeah…that's ok. We should get going then." He waved to Remus before leaving the common room, closely followed by Peter.

I took one last look at Remus, sighed and left as well, hoping that Remus would get better soon.

* * *

Well the next time I remember it happening it was during Potions. I had paired up with Remus and was in the middle of pouring a weird greenish-purplish liquid into our cauldron when Remus took my wrist and stopped me.

"What?" I asked and watched as Remus put the bottle down.

"Please don't take offence at my innuendo." He replied and added instead some copped up roots before stirring three times. I blinked a couple of times still watching Remus before I turned back to my potions book to read the instructions over again. _When did Remus make an innuendo?_

* * *

After potions all four of us made our way down the corridors conversing quietly when Peter, out of the blue whispered. "Whoa you guys, check out who's coming this way." At this all of us watched as a rather curvy girl with long brown hair walked past us. I pretended to gag, as James laughed punching Peter's arm lightly.

"Pft, I wonder why wormtail likes Daisy so much." I whispered sarcastically into Remus's ear, chuckling.

"Even white boys got to shout, Baby got back!" He blurted out loud enough for the whole school to hear, all with a straight face. James and I promptly busted out laughing as Peter turned a lovely shade of magenta. Remus, untouched by the whole situation walked swiftly to our next class.

* * *

Later on that day, all four of us were seated, eating lunch in the Great Hall, very much at ease when a wave of giggles erupted at the other end of the Gryffindor table.

"Girls." I mutter, rolling my eyes and taking a sip of my pumpkin juice.

"Girls just wanna have fun." Remus stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was the first time in weeks that Remus had spoken without being addressed first. It was progress, albeit Remus was still saying completely random and silly things but it was progress.

"Speaking of girls," Chirped Peter. "Some bird was looking for you the other day Sirius."

"Really?" said I. "Who was it?" I wasn't interested in the slightest, but I asked out of pure curiosity.

"I don't know, Remus was the one she spoke to, I just over heard." He replied sheepishly. So I turned to Remus, who was seated next to me, and raised an eyebrow.

"Who was it Rem?" Remus sighed and picked at his food. Peter snapped his fingers and gasped.

"Oh, it was one of those…you know girls with…the thing." He then started to make weird hand gestures. "You know…those girls…"

At this Remus cut in. "Girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys."

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Peter before stopping and think about what Remus had just said. "Wait…no." Remus rolled his eyes, stood up from the table and grabbed his bag.

He then leaned in really close and whispered in my ear so no one would be able to overhear. "Kick off your stilettos and fuck me in the back seat." I nearly had a heart attack. Remus grinned at the effect his words had on me, I could feel my face burning up, and exited the Great Hall. I instantly grabbed my pumpkin juice and downed it in one gulp.

"Hold up…boys who do _what_ with sexually confused girls?"

* * *

Later on in the week, James and I entered the common room very much pleased with ourselves. "Ha! We've just pranked Snivellus for the fifth time today!" I exclaimed loud enough to draw Remus' attention, who by the looks of it was reading a book next to the fireplace.

"We might have gotten two nights worth of detention but it was so worth!" James added cheerfully. Remus then stood up and sent us both murderous glares.

"Well then think of what you did. And I hope to god he was worth it!" he screamed before storming off to the dormitories. James turned to me and I once again found myself speechless.

* * *

His odd behavior continued and gradually became…worse…? I'm not sure.

"Help! I need somebody!" I saw a miserable looking Remus trudge through the entrance into the common room. I saw several people walk over to him to try and 'help' him but he pushed them all away. Even I got up from my spot on the couch to help my poor friend. "Help! Not just anybody! Help! You know I need someone, help." Lily then stepped up to him and he collapsed into her arms, sobbing. I heard her murmur words of comfort and I instantly felt useless. Why couldn't Remus come to me? I would have helped…

"And I do appreciate you being round." I watched him tell her with a watery smile. Lily hugged him tighter. "Help me get my feet back on the ground." He continues to weep as if the whole common room weren't looking, no _staring_, at them both.

* * *

Sometimes it would just come out of nowhere, example being:

I look up from a game of exploding snaps with James when the door to our dorm is flung open and in walked Remus, looking very bewildered and out of it. His breathing was heavy and he scanned the room quickly, looking under beds and around corners. He was muttering things that we either couldn't hear or understand.

"Hey Moony…what's wrong?" A concerned James asked next to me. Remus stopped his frantic searching for…whatever it is he's looking for, and gave us, for once, his undivided attention.

"I'm knitting with only one needle." He held up his index finger to us.

"Knitting?" I asked. He nodded enthusiastically.

"Unraveling fast, it's true." He continued. "I'm driving only three wheels these days,  
but my dear how about you?" He tilted his head slightly to the side, and stared at us unblinking.

"You can drive? Like a muggle car?" James asked, dumbfounded once more. Remus giggled at James and turned to me instead.

"I'm going slightly mad, I'm going slightly mad, it finally happened, it finally happened, it finally happened, I'm slightly mad! Just ever slightly mad!" By the end of his little…announcement he was all but bouncing off the walls. And in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

"Did you understand a word he just said?" James asked me with a small frown on his face.

"I gave up on that a long time ago." I replied picking up a card to continue our game. James shrugged and turned back to the game as well.

But a few minutes later he broke the silence once more. "Well if you look at the bright side…"

"What bright side?" I asked, very much curious as to what my dear friend was talking about.

"That makes two of you…" He smirked and looked back down at the game.

_Two of us…?_

"Hey!" I looked up at James as he laughed and then proceed to pummel him.

* * *

Another time we were working in Herbology, repotting some funny plants with yellow and red pointy flowers and blue leaves. I had run out of pots and turned to see that there was an extra one next to Remus.

"Hey, Remus." I got nothing. "Remus." I said a bit louder. "Rem…" _–sigh-_ "Moony!" I shouted, and gently shoved him finally getting his attention. "I need-" But I was cut off before I could say anything else.

"Push me," He sounded a little upset so I started to apologize.

"Sorry Re-"

"And then just touch me…"

"What?" He really needs to stop doing this, especially during class.

"Till I can get my _Satisfaction._" Remus stretched out the final word, almost seductively, making me shiver pleasantly. He went back to his work as if he'd never been interrupted, and promptly ignored me the rest of the class. And I never got that damn pot.

* * *

Right I've got another:

It was a very nice and warm day so we'd decided to spend it lounging outside under our official 'marauder's tree'. We were chatting about this and that, just enjoying the nice weather for once and I felt myself start to doze.

"We need to make an agreement to meet up during the break. I never see you guys." Peter whined, before he turned on his side a little to get more comfortable.

"Sure Peter," Started James with a laugh. "And we can have a huge sleep over."

"Yeah! Exactly!" Apparently wormtail failed to note the sarcasm in James' voice. "And it'll be a blast!"

"Oh yes wormy, and we could do each others hair and paint our toe nails and play dress up and play dollies and stay up all night telling secrets! Oh happy, happy, joy, joy!" James' voice took on a much higher pitch. I snorted when I saw the confused look on Peter's face but I could hold my laughter in no longer when James clapped cheerfully and bounced a little.

"And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch x-files." Remus spat out with a scoff. I laughed so hard that tears came to my eyes but promptly shut up when I saw the look Remus gave me, suddenly it was much too hot out.

"Whoa! Hey, I never agreed to that Remus." James choked out, still catching his breath.

"Marinate the nether rod, in the squish mitten." Remus muttered, shrugging and turning onto his stomach.

"What? I didn't know Remus knew German!" Peter squeaked out. I sighed and watched as James patted Peter on the head.

"Yes that Remus is just full of surprises…"

* * *

I recall another time when we were rushing to finish our homework in the library when James decided to make a comment.

"I can't believe Professor McGonagall would assign so much homework in just one bloody week!" He hissed as quietly as he could so as not to attract the attention of anyone, mainly the psychotic librarian.

"Yeah…way too much pressure." added Peter.

"Insanity laughs under pressure, we're cracking." chuckled Remus. "This is ourselves, under pressure." And for once, I couldn't agree more with is crazy words.

* * *

And those series of odd events have led us to the present.

I'm lying in bed, still somewhat half asleep, when I hear foots steps, and then the sound of curtains being opened.

"Hey, pretty boy it's time to wake up. It's already after 10 o'clock." I turn to see a smiling Remus looking at me.

"It's Saturday, let me be lazy for a little bit longer." I grunt and pull the covers over my head. I hear Remus laugh and walk away, I'm assuming to his bed.

"Bright and early for their daily races. Going nowhere, going nowhere." I look over my bed covers to watch him as he puts on his shoes.

"Are you trying to tell me something here, like in metaphors or what have you?" Remus laughs harder and shakes his head.

"Meet me in the clouds." It's the last thing I hear from him as he exits the dorm.

So I get up with much effort, shower and go down to the great hall in hope of getting at least some toast. As I sit down next to my fellow marauders I note that Remus is strangely absent. "Where's Moony?" I ask grabbing some toast and taking a bite.

"He muttered something about 'I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me' Or something like that before leaving. Didn't even eat anything." I heard James say.

"Something is seriously wrong with him…I'm a little scared actually." Both James and Peter nod in unison at my statement.

An hour later we're seated in our dorm discussing one Remus Lupin.

"Well, when did this start?" I asked pacing between my bed and Remus'.

"Two months…maybe three. Who knows?" I hear James say from his side of the room.

"But it didn't get bad till just a month ago." Inserts Peter and I nod.

Suddenly the door to our dormitory bursts open and in storms a very angry Remus.

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!" screams Remus very close to tears. He throws a few of his belonging on his bed and leaves the room as quickly as he came in.

"Alright who's the idiot who _forgot to close the door_?!" Shouts James as he jumps up from his bed.

"I don't know…" squeaks Peter. I sigh and rub my face irritably when I see James losing it out of the corner of my eyes. I leave the dorm as fast as possible and sprint down the stairs and out of the common room trying to catch up to Remus. Which proved to be rather difficult…that guy can run.

Chasing him down the corridors I watch him turn sharply to his right and almost cheer. He went straight into a dead end. When I finally do catch up to him, I'm out of breath and I have to lean on a wall to regain my composure. Remus turns around and stares at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as I move closer to him.

"Remus, what's been up with you lately?" I ask standing only a few feet away from him.

"I believe in a thing called love." Remus announces quietly, looking up at me with _those eyes_. I stay put, confused as Remus moves slowly closing the distance between us with a small kiss. And I melt into it without a second thought.

When we finally pull apart, unfortunately oxygen is a basic necessity for human life; I blink a couple of times, more baffled than ever before. I grab Remus by the shoulders holding him still, resisting the urge to shake him a little. "What was that?" I ask, my voice coming out slightly hysterical.

"Crazy little thing called love." Remus replies simply with a shrug and leans in for another kiss.

**

* * *

A/N: So what did you guys think? In case you guys haven't figured it out yet every single thing Remus said in the one shot was a song lyric (which I do not own buy the way)Yeah…like I mentioned before I have the tendency to just burst out and sing song lyrics and sometimes they make sense and sometimes they don't and it get's pretty tiresome after a while (well at least my friends and family think so) so I've tried to cut back…Well I thought it was pretty cute. But you know I'd love to know what you guys think. So leave a review…please.**

**Songs in order: **Michael by Franz Ferdinand, Mama's Room by Under the Influence of Giants, Innuendo by Queen, Baby got back by Sir-Mix-A-Lot, Girls just wanna have fun by Cyndi Lauper, Girls and Boys by Blur, Fer Sure by The Medic Droid, Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by Panic! At the Disco, Help! By The Beatles, I'm going Slightly Mad by Queen, Satisfaction by Benny Benassi, The Bad touch by The Bloodhound Gang, Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by The Bloodhound Gang, Under Pressure by Queen & David Bowie, Get Ready 2 Rokk by Freezepop, Mad World by Gary Jules, In The Clouds by Under the Influence of Giants, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At the Disco, I believe in a thing Called Love by The Darkness, Crazy little thing Called Love by Queen.

**I own none of them… **


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